Cuntscrape – Lord Labia

Banging back onto the scene with their latest offensive assault ‘Papsmear Campaign’, Perth grindocologysts CUNTSCRAPE are polishing their pork swords in preparation for a three state tour kicking off this weekend. Metal Obsession catches up with mainman Lord Labia about the upcoming album and tour.

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Metal Obsession: Lord Labia, welcome to the interview, how are ya mate?
Lord Labia: Roaringly splendid. We have a new album and our first tour coming up so I got a mongrel so hard not even you could scratch it.

MO: For those who haven’t heard Cuntscrape before, can you give us a bit of an introduction about yourselves?
LL: We are a very horny five piece metal band from plumper pumping Perth, mixing the seed of grind, the mash of thrash, the stench of death & the cock of rock. Our lyrics are very moving with most of our songs are about tits, arse and muff. We dare to go where very few have gone before.

MO: The band name.. I think it’s charming, but does it get you in any strife?
LL: Haha well it has a little. We have found a couple of venues won’t book us under our real name, so we’ve had to come up with an alias, ‘The Mighty Scrape’ in order to book shows at these venues. We did score a little distro with our first album, ‘Thrush Bang Mania’ and I do know some shops either refused to stock it or if they did order it, they sent it straight back once they looked at it. Plenty of people ask if I play in a band and when I tell them the name, I quite often get an interesting reaction.

MO: What are some of the bands biggest influences? And do you have any favourite death/grind bands that you’d like to share with us?
LL: The wrongest porn possible is definitely an influence on our lyrics. The crazy shit people either do to themselves or do to others to display on the internet for millions of potential viewers is mindblowing. I mean retard porn. WTF? Wrong, but priceless at the same time. Musically we take influences from everything, especially bands that don’t take themselves too seriously like Pungent Stench, Macabre, Meatshits and local bands like Bloodduster, Volatile and Intense Hammer Rage. A lot of those bands are my favourite bands.

MO: Australian grind bands seem to do fairly well for themselves, looking at Bloodduster or Captain Cleanoff to name just a few. What are your thoughts on the Australian grind scene, and how does it rate on an international level?
LL: Like your pee pee it is quite small but very handsome. A few more Australian grind bands are rearing their ugly heads, which is mad! I hope to see a lot more in the future. The two you have mentioned are definitely doing well locally and overseas which is great to see, especially for some of them whom may have gone to school on a special orange bus. They’ve come a long way. There is hope for Cuntscrape yet!

MO: For such a young band (although the members are old and decrepit), you sure are churning out the releases.. Where do you find the inspiration to write so many songs about such sick topics?
LL: Some of us maybe old and decrepit young man, but I’d still be able to crush up your old lady like a coffee bean through a grinder that’s for sure. Anyway I didn’t quite realise we were so sick. Are we?  The internet is the undoubtedly the best invention (other than fake vaginas) to ever grace this planet. It is a never ending source of inspiration.

MO: The new album, ‘Papsmear Campaign’, has a mass load of 23 tracks, with some classic songtitles (‘Cum Fart Tart’, ‘Pooch Gooch, ‘I Wanna Do It With A Midget’, etc). Do you have a favourite track on the album? And I take it all the songs are pretty short in length (just like your old fella)?
LL: Oh hahaha. It may be short, but its girth is mighty and will still cause violent trauma to unsuspecting rims. I do love them all like a good wristie from a tranny. Trust me those she things know what to do. My personal faves are Fisterectomy, I Wanna Do It With A Midget, The Great Unwashed and probably Pooch Gooch. 23 songs coming in at 34 mins. Its stuff legends are made of.

MO: Does the album differ much from the previous releases? How was the recording process? Are you happy with the final product? Are you offended that I have asked you three questions in one?
LL: Yes i’m offended, Go fuck your own foo foo. It differs in that it has 3 more songs. Musically it is an insane and mixed as the first album, although i’d say the fingering and the overall sound is a lot better.

Musically we are tighter and faster in a lot of sections. I’m ecstatic with the final product and we have definitely stooped to new levels of low. We actually recorded the drums in a gyno room. The atmosphere and aroma just suited perfectly. Guitars, bass, vocals and keys were recorded in our drummers Fullpower studio. Five big guys in one room for 12 hours a day produced a wonderfully intoxicating rich stench. Reminded me of some of the hapless cripples i’ve had in my bedroom before.

MO: The latest band photos featured on ‘Papsmear Campaign’ are probably the funniest pictures I have ever seen. I bet it was a lot of fun taking them.. Where did you scrounge up the old man outfits from?
LL: Why thanks. Originally we raided your nannas washing line looking for nice frilly things to sniff. But then we thought how much fun it could be to dress up as your grandad and then try to seduce your nanna. Well the clothes felt so comfortable and nice that we now can’t stop wearing them.

MO: Having been unlucky enough to see Cuntscrape live on a number of occasions, you put on not only a killer heavy show, but also a heap of unexpected antics. Can you give us a hint what to expect at the upcoming shows? Blow up sex dolls? Dildos? Midgets?
LL: Oh you are too kind. Yes there will be plenty of crazy antics. We will be well lubed up so even we don’t know what to expect from ourselves half the time. There will be a myriad of ladies hygiene products, sex toys, blow up things, blood, samples and all kinds of nasty good fun. Midgets would be cool, but unfortunately their hot little tooshes waddling on stage would put me off my game so we had to veto that idea. I can guarantee you will walk out with a smile on your face.

MO: The tour kicks off very soon, and I urge all of you around the country who are yet to witness the perversion of Cuntscrape to get along to a show and bring along a sense of humour and your best milling hair. You looking forward to the tour? Anything you’d like to warn the Aussie punters about before attending?
LL: I am more than looking forward to this tour. To spread our nasty seed across the eager young (and old) faces across the east coast will bring much merriment and enjoyment to our souls. All I can say is bring your drinking hat, your sense of humour and a raincoat. I’d also suggest not leaving your girlfriend unattended for too long.

MO: Thanks for your time Lord, please leave us with a memorable quote…
LL: Semen, so much more than just a breakfast drink. Get into it ladies.

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‘Papsmear Campaign’ is available from this Friday 27th November through Prime Cuts Records – www.primecuts.com.au

On tour this month!

Novemeber 27 – Perth – Amplifier Bar
December 11 – Brisbane – Rosies
December 12 – Southport – Del Plaza
December 13 – Cleveland – Memorial Hall
December 17 – Newcastle – Hamilton Station Hotel
December 18 – Canberra – The Basement
December 19 – Sydney – Sandringham Hotel

www.myspace.com/grindocologysts